![]() ![]() But again, that experience is not a choice, it is innate: If your sexuality or gender identity is fluid, it remains fluid no matter how you express your gender or who you’re currently partnered with. Many sexually fluid people exist as well, and some may identify as bisexual or pansexual others choose not to label their sexualities. There are some gender identities that are fluid, for example, people who identify as genderfluid or genderflux may experience their gender as fluctuating between a variety of identities and expressions. However, if a choice is based in fear, condemnation, conditional love, or control, it is more likely to have negative consequences for one’s mental health. If a major life choice is based in healthy beliefs and an alignment with one’s sense of self, inner purpose, and identity, it can be a good choice. ![]() ![]() A person who chooses not to come out or disclose their identity is not straight or cisgender by default. A person who chooses to be celibate is not, therefore, asexual. The key difference is that a choice to be abstinent or celibate is not the same thing as fundamentally changing one’s identity. And there are times when people make choices such as abstaining from sex before marriage, or commitments that require celibacy, like certain priesthoods. You can be attracted to someone, but never ask them out, for instance. LGBTQ people exist whether they are allowed to live authentically or not.īut you generally can choose whether to take a particular action, right? Of course. So the answer is simple: No, you cannot choose your sexual and romantic orientation or your gender identity and it is also not able to be changed. Whether you wear a tux or a dress may influence how people interpret your gender (and it may bring joy or embarrassment), but clothing alone cannot change your inner sense of gender identity or who you’re attracted to. There are some things about ourselves we can change, that is, “to transform or convert.” You can change how you express your gender, such as choosing to wear something traditionally coded as masculine, like a tuxedo, or choosing to wear something traditionally coded as feminine, such as a dress. Sexual orientation and gender identity are not a choice, but whether we accept or like our identity is a different issue. While we can choose how we respond, we ultimately don’t have much power over how we innately feel. It is that age-old tension between fate and free will, between what life gives us and what we do with it. Can you choose or change your identity?Ī choice is defined as “the right, power, or opportunity to choose.” Humans dislike the idea that there are things about ourselves that we don’t have the power to choose. Just as it’s important to learn why words like commit shouldn’t be used in conversations around suicide, learning how words such as choice, change, and convert can be used to harm LGBTQ people is important to being an advocate for mental health and an ally to LGBTQ people. It’s also an ideal time to raise awareness for how LGBTQ youth are at a higher risk for poor mental health outcomes and suicidality-not because of something intrinsic to being LGBTQ, but rather because of the increased experiences of victimization and discrimination as well as traumatic practices they may be subjected to, including conversion therapy. ![]() During this time, it’s critical to destigmatize conversations around mental health. Mental Illness Awareness Week starts on October 4, culminating with World Mental Health Day on October 10. The constant challenge is taking responsibility for what we can influence-and acknowledging what we cannot.īut for LGBTQ people, words like choice and change-which seemingly imply power and possibility-have actually been weaponized throughout a painful history of criminalization, abuse, and harm inflicted on people for simply being who they are. There are many things in life that we can choose or change, such as how we decide to express ourselves, the relationships we commit to, or the dreams we pursue.Īnd then there are things in life that happen to us whether or not we want them to: our genetic makeup, the environment we are raised in, and the opportunities that are available to us, as a few examples. No matter your sexual orientation or gender identity, all people have something in common. ![]()
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